Online Dating Etiquette

Today, as everyone who uses a computer and surfs the Internet knows, the World Wide Web can be used for a large number of reasons, the more popular uses among them being banking and e-commerce, shopping, and finding a partner in love. As the number of users like you has been growing steadily, so has the need for a set of manners and behaviors, or proper cyber dating etiquette, grown.

On social matchmaking and dating sites, social etiquette is very important, because today, more and more boys and girls are visiting these sites looking for love or companionship. What this means is that the cyber-dating scene has made it imperative for all you users to follow a certain code of etiquette. This way, any potential cyber faux pas or a break in protocol that would perhaps put you in a tough social situation can be avoided. After all, isn't it better to know the rules before you start dating, rather than wonder at the end of it all, “What happened. I thought we were getting along just fine?”

The first thing to remember, however, is to never sign yourself into an unknown and less used dating site. It is always a good idea to stick to a good and reputable site, where you can feel most comfortable, and be yourself. Such a dating site would never break your confidence and sell your e-mail identity to unscrupulous persons, and also, this type of site would never allow its users to use profanity in any form. The second thing to remember is to remain completely honest, whenever and wherever possible, in your profile and personal details. The reason is that if you really desire to get to know someone, and like that person, then the truth about you would come out eventually, when you meet him or her. Online dating etiquette therefore dictates that honesty is probably the better policy to follow.

You could set up a separate e-mail account, meant just for the purpose of dating. Choose your online user name wisely, and try not to go overboard with it, like for example, no one would actually want to get to know someone called 'Beach Bum'. Allow some time, at least a week, for a response to come through, and try not to write someone off, based on his or her very first e-mail. After all, he could simply be testing the waters. Remember to check your grammar and spelling, nothing could put someone off as much as bad grammar or poor spelling, and it may give a completely wrong impression about you, if you do not take this simple step in online dating etiquette.

Some people wonder, why is there no response from him or her? At times, it is best to know that when you contact someone you think you like, and that person does not respond, then it can be taken to mean that he or she is not interested in you. Experts say that the 'silent treatment', whether it is on your side, or on the other, is one of the best solutions to this problem, rather than having to write an entire essay on why he or she does not want to be your friend any more. In the same way, it would be best if you could refrain from asking too many personal questions in the very first e-mail, like for example, “Where do you live”, and “Where do you work?” All these questions can be brought up later, when it has been decided that there is indeed interest on both sides. If, however, you decide to end your online relationship, for whatever reason, then the online dating etiquette approves of sending an e-mail to end it, rather than making an embarrassing telephone call.

Finally, remember that once you have decided upon one individual, and feel that he or she is the one for you, then do not remain open to other offers. Nothing can put off an individual more than knowing that you are still interested in other people, after you have specifically chosen this one person as the love of your life. Therefore, etiquette says that you must close your account with the dating agency, if you feel that you have met Mr. or Ms Right. Do confirm by a politely worded statement, whether the other person feels the same, like for example, by saying, “Don't you think our profiles can come down now?” and then go about closing your account with the online dating agency. All the Best!

Dr Nathalie Fiset is a family doctor and a certified hypnotherapist

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